Monday, January 28, 2008

What If....

1. What if...everyone were carbon copies of one another.
2. What if...there were no such thing as children.
3. What if...we never died.
4. What if...all of this is just a dream or figment of our imaginations.
5. What if...there were no such thing as words.
6. What if...we all acted like Paris Hilton.
7. What if...people who deserved to make more money actually did.
8. What if...George Bush didn't suck.
9. What if...we all walked around naked all the time.
10. What if...everything was free.
11. What if...there were cures for diseases...(which there probably are).
12. What if...cat's ruled the world.
13. What if...Britney Spears were a good mom.
14. What if...I wasn't such a procrastinator.
15. What if...everyday we had to live our lives out through song.
16. What if...we wouldn't have been lied to about the war in Iraq.
17. What if...students at IUPUI got together and boycotted the school.
18. What if...my family got along.
19. What if...every class was as cool as this one.
20. What if...I were never born.
21. What if...I wouldn't have fucked up my freshman year at IU.
22. What if...everyone could have babies.
22. What if...the writer's strike would end and good shows could be back on instead of all of this reality bullshit.
23. What if...all movies made us think.
25. What if...we go into an ice age.
26. What if...my name were Jamaica.
27. What if...Steve wouldn't have gone to his brother's that night.
28. What if...soulmate's don't exist.
29. What if...soulmate's do exist.
30. What if...I get an opportunity to move to New York.
31. What if...people's dreams really did come true.
32. What if...people in other countries didn't have to starve.
33. What if...all health care in America were free.
34. What if...shopping stopped being an obsession for me.
35. What if...my computer breaks down.
36. What if...Kyle changed.
37. What if...I were on a reality show.
38. What if...I won the lottery.
39. What if...I don't get to see my kids grow up.
40. What if...I don't ever get married.
41. What if...I've already met him.
42. What if...reincarnation is real.
43. What if...Aunt Margie was still here.
44. What if...I stop being a server.
45. What if...I get straight A's again.
46. What if...my friends forget about me.
47. What if...this is as good as it gets.
48. What if...I die tomorrow.
49. What if...Lindsey doesn't come back.
50. What if...Ivin actually shows up.

Monday, January 14, 2008

This is Forking Silly

So it is literally a few hours before this post is due and I just realized that my fork has been sitting in my purse for the entire week amongst receipts, money, hair ties and god knows what else. No action has been taken at all to give this fork a good story so I will do my best within the next few hours to do this fork justice. Who better to make a story for my fork then my two toddler boys who find the stupidest things entertaining.



Aidan who is one and a half is my first test subject whom I am assuming will give me some type of story for the plastic fork. I start off by handing the fork to Aidan and he looks confused as to why there is no food associated with it. He proceeds to hold the fork for a minute, put it in his mouth, stick it in his hair and then toss it to the ground as he is already over my experiment.



Next up is my four year old Kenyon. He is obsessed with power rangers so I knew that giving him a fork and asking him to do something with it would be a stretch. So instead he molded my ideas with his and let the fork be a part in his power rangers gaming experience. The fork remained next to his controller for about three minutes when he decided that the fork got in the way and put in on the table. Mission Failed.



My attempts to give this fork a story were unfortunately unsuccessful, but at least they were a little entertaining.