I had planned to show some "real" photos of my flaws to expose the real me which would have correlated with my previous posts. I'm not ready to do this though. Saying what I said in my post last night was a huge step for me. To me, that was like peeling off a layer of my former self.

Research

Final Project

So I feel like for this final project I want the class to really see me. It will be my onion/final project assignment and will incorporate my previous blog post. I want to show my flaws which will be a huge thing for me to do, especially to people that I have barely taken the time to know.

Reality Check

Ok, so I don't even know where to begin. When Beth went through the list of assignments that we had done and I realized how much I had missed, I was angry at myself. Not until today though did things go full circle for me and did I finally give this class a chance. Pretty sad huh?? Anyway, today at work I was offended by something that a co-worker said to me and this is how I responded, "Well Marsha, I would be angry at the world too if I were as gigantic as you." At the time I thought I was being funny and felt like the "cool kid" because I made everyone laugh at her expense. I didn't start to feel bad until about 15 minutes ago when I was putting my youngest son asleep. I laid there and thought, what the fuck is your problem Mallory??? And then I realized that I've been doing this forever. I THINK I'M BETTER THAN OTHERS. This is the reason that I'm not getting to know people in my classes and why I reject new friendships. I'M A BITCH. When we were talking in class the other day and Beth talked about people not really talking, I knew that I was one of them. I am actually really talkative and couldn't put my finger on why I wasn't talking in class. Well, come to find out now that it was because of my superiority complex. I would always think, these kids in my classes don't know shit. They haven't been through what I've been through. I'm 24 and being in class with them is like babysitting my kids. I can't remember when I started acting like this. Maybe it was the years of private school or my constant obsession of having the finer things of life...who knows, but I'm ready to change. In our last class on the blazing hot rooftop deck, FREAK said something to me that really stood out. He looked at me and said, "you're pink and yellow." And for some odd reason I didn't question it and instead was finally proud to be something other than I had perceived myself to be.

Going Without A Sense

So...I wanted to take one of my senses away from myself for this blog and see what kind of experience I would have. I wanted to take it away from the real world, but enhance it but only from my perspective. On Thursday, I don't have my children, so I thought it was the perfect day to do this. I'm in school for a large part of the day, so that aspect also made this experiment interesting. I decided to have my own personal soundtrack for the majority of the day by constantly keeping my ipod on and attached to my ears via headphones. it was extremely interesting to see how people reacted to me never taking my headphones off. People would talk to me and I attempted to read their lips which I found out, I'm not half bad at. During my first class, I sat in the back of class and no one really noticed what I was doing. The teacher lectured while I listened to music which made class a completely different experience. In between classes I went to Wal Mart and to the gas station, where if someone spoke to me I just kind of nodded my head. People kind of reacted to my like I was a bitch...it was kind of funny. In my second class I had to adjust and reintroduce myself to other sounds by taking only one headphone out so I could do the tutorial with the rest of my class. This was interesting. Things sounded so funny with John Legend playing in my other ear. It was actually interesting because at one point when we got up for a break, and the whole class got out of their seats, it was as if the music climaxed at the same time. Overall this was a really fun experience and I learned that I can read lips actually really well.

WOW....where have I been?

So I can't believe that I haven't blogged in this long. I have been so busy with school and the babies being sick that February just flew by. A couple of weeks ago Beth let us choose to either watch a movie in class and order pizza or have a bliss assignment where we could go do whatever we want, but we had to dedicate the full class time to our bliss. I chose to have the free time because I never get free time and just wanted to hang by myself. My bliss consisted of the following elements...eating at Noodles and Company while watching Desperate Housewives on my iPod and then spending time at my friend of 10 years, Bryan's house and watching more shitty reality television. So, it's not like I did anything spectacular with my time, but I was abe to take a couple of hours and dedicate it solely to me, which I seriously appreciate.

What Moves Me

Here are some things that move me....

Monday's Class

So I have officially decided that this class is the shit. On Monday we had to explore the block for about 30 minutes and have some type of unique experience that would only apply to us. Others had way better stories than mine. I only found a partially open candy bar.....booo. But, I did get to meet another Mallory for the first time ever which is pretty great. It was so weird how everything on Monday seemed connected from stories people told to our bible dipping at the end of class. This class is all about opening your eyes and I think that Monday was the perfect example.

My What If Journey

So I was looking at other people's blogs and was struck with Joseph Habshey's what if question.....what if people were born without genetalia??? My first reaction was don't get into this, but I think that it's actually really interesting to think about because then how would we mate??? We might possibly mate how other animals do....who knows??? I'm intrigued.

What If....

1. What if...everyone were carbon copies of one another.
2. What if...there were no such thing as children.
3. What if...we never died.
4. What if...all of this is just a dream or figment of our imaginations.
5. What if...there were no such thing as words.
6. What if...we all acted like Paris Hilton.
7. What if...people who deserved to make more money actually did.
8. What if...George Bush didn't suck.
9. What if...we all walked around naked all the time.
10. What if...everything was free.
11. What if...there were cures for diseases...(which there probably are).
12. What if...cat's ruled the world.
13. What if...Britney Spears were a good mom.
14. What if...I wasn't such a procrastinator.
15. What if...everyday we had to live our lives out through song.
16. What if...we wouldn't have been lied to about the war in Iraq.
17. What if...students at IUPUI got together and boycotted the school.
18. What if...my family got along.
19. What if...every class was as cool as this one.
20. What if...I were never born.
21. What if...I wouldn't have fucked up my freshman year at IU.
22. What if...everyone could have babies.
22. What if...the writer's strike would end and good shows could be back on instead of all of this reality bullshit.
23. What if...all movies made us think.
25. What if...we go into an ice age.
26. What if...my name were Jamaica.
27. What if...Steve wouldn't have gone to his brother's that night.
28. What if...soulmate's don't exist.
29. What if...soulmate's do exist.
30. What if...I get an opportunity to move to New York.
31. What if...people's dreams really did come true.
32. What if...people in other countries didn't have to starve.
33. What if...all health care in America were free.
34. What if...shopping stopped being an obsession for me.
35. What if...my computer breaks down.
36. What if...Kyle changed.
37. What if...I were on a reality show.
38. What if...I won the lottery.
39. What if...I don't get to see my kids grow up.
40. What if...I don't ever get married.
41. What if...I've already met him.
42. What if...reincarnation is real.
43. What if...Aunt Margie was still here.
44. What if...I stop being a server.
45. What if...I get straight A's again.
46. What if...my friends forget about me.
47. What if...this is as good as it gets.
48. What if...I die tomorrow.
49. What if...Lindsey doesn't come back.
50. What if...Ivin actually shows up.

This is Forking Silly

So it is literally a few hours before this post is due and I just realized that my fork has been sitting in my purse for the entire week amongst receipts, money, hair ties and god knows what else. No action has been taken at all to give this fork a good story so I will do my best within the next few hours to do this fork justice. Who better to make a story for my fork then my two toddler boys who find the stupidest things entertaining.

Aidan who is one and a half is my first test subject whom I am assuming will give me some type of story for the plastic fork. I start off by handing the fork to Aidan and he looks confused as to why there is no food associated with it. He proceeds to hold the fork for a minute, put it in his mouth, stick it in his hair and then toss it to the ground as he is already over my experiment.



Next up is my four year old Kenyon. He is obsessed with power rangers so I knew that giving him a fork and asking him to do something with it would be a stretch. So instead he molded my ideas with his and let the fork be a part in his power rangers gaming experience. The fork remained next to his controller for about three minutes when he decided that the fork got in the way and put in on the table. Mission Failed.



My attempts to give this fork a story were unfortunately unsuccessful, but at least they were a little entertaining.